SYASYA WHIRL X[

2006-10-11T14:44:00.000+08:00

fcuk . i lost my wallet .

TODAY . 11 OCTOBER 2006 .

stupid me . why did i slept in the bus ? and the auntie bside me did not tell me that i dropped my wallet . suspect that she`s the one who`ll took it . SUSPECT onlie uhs ..

i was so sad . i cried when i reached home , when i found out i lost it . sadsadsadsad .. i cried ... after soo long i`ve not been crying ... so i burst into tears .. sms-ed my mum that i lost my wallet . she called me, and told me to report . ok i did .

went to the nearby police station . on the way saw this guy i`d been having crush at .. since... primary 4? i dunnoe .. hope he did not see my tears .. paiseyh sial later ...

sigh . lost $8 . lost my ez link card . lost my NETS . lost my precious neoprints . a lost my BELOVED ring given by my ex . THAT is my magic ring .. coz i believe everytime i wear the ring , my ex (that one) would either chat with me, call me .. or sms-ed me ... but it doesn`t work out so often .. so i had to wear it on certain dates ..

sigh . the police officer was okay . i thought he would say something bad coz i lost my wallet in the bus . but . NO . phew ~

no mood to do anything . i was so lucky that i did not lost my phone as well ... but .. now .. my magic ring is gone .. argh !!

okie . yesterday was SOOOO great .

i chat with him . my ex who gave me that ring . told u; everytime i wear it he would contact me ... i dunnoe how lah ..

okie . he told me that he want to propose me when we`ve grown up . i thought he was kidding . i thought that was a joke . coz i told him that i don`t want to be hurt for the second time by him .. but he replied that he don`t think now is the perfect age for him to fall in love .. and he promised me that the day would come .. and i said .. " juz wait and see .. "

omg . did he still love me ? sigh . hope so . but i keep telling myself not to return back to him , or eat his sweet talks ...

ok . danial and i ... both of us did not contact each other for sooo long .. eversince his prepaid went low ... and he doesnt seem to care to dial my phone number on his house phone .. damn larrh ..

but .. as long as im still "officially" attached to him , i will forever love him .. and it`ll end whenever he ends "us" ..

baddayforsyasya ..

the change .

2006-10-06T21:26:00.000+08:00

06 october 2oo6

sigh . he changed . i dun feel the love he used to shower me with .. sigh .. this is just the beginning.. our relationship haven`t yet one month .. sigh .. sometimes its hard havin a relationship with someone from different school ..

sigh . had my exam juz now . literature . damn it i dont read the bloody instructions . so i lost marks for that . darn it .

forget about that . the past had passed . so no point turning back . its juz a piece of bloody paper that pissed me off . i was hoping to score well for all my subjects for this end of year exam .. i wanna make my parents proud .. and get myself a new handphone ..

hehh . sigh . never mind bout that . my heart seems to be aching .. is he leaving me or making me hate him .. so that i would ask for a break .. ? i think he`s losing interest in me and maybe his love for me had fades through with time .. but im not gonna bastard any guys from now on . let them break my heart . coz i wont forgive myself for breaking people`s heart .. i felt so guilty ..

nevermind . endure . i`d done this to many guys , so why don`t i juz taste my own medicine .. biar padan muke aku ..

nevermind syasya .. i`m strong .. i`ve gone so many heartbreaks .. but i wont give up in love .. i dared to fall in love again and again .. it hurts , but it makes me stronger and wiser .. nevermind all these .. faisal hurt me a lot more than he does .. so don`t worry syasya ..

2006-08-25T21:30:00.000+08:00

25 • 08 • 2005

sigh. juz put down the phone. he called me. then he told me he wanted to call his ex. and then we end our conversation.

i cant stop him him. i dont have the rights. his ex is my friend. best friend. felt kinda hurt though. coz every single night he would call her... even my ex wasn`t as good as him.

macam mepek uh gitu. put down the phone pasal nak call ex dier. sakit siol hati. tapi tahan jer uh. nak buat cam ne. sukati dier uh. aku bukannye mak dier. stakat mataer.

ape nak jadi, jadilah. damn it. air mate dah jatoh. SAKIT sak ati aku... AH! gik mampos uh. mane ade EX yang dah ade mataer nak kol EX dier tiap-tiap malam. EX aku pon tk camtu sak... biar uh. kalau dorang nak path, PEGI uh PATCH ALIK. jgn memperbodohkan/mempergunekan aku. macam... UH, forget it,,,

Ape sak... bingit uh kalau pikirkan pasal nie... slame nie tak sanggup nak luahkan ape yang aku rase pade dier... mcm kesian gitu... aku muram/marah sikit pat dier dah takot nak bebual... dh uh... sampai biler sak camnie... aku cumer nak dier tu honest pat aku... kalau dah tak sayang, cakap aje... tak susah pe... bukak mulut, CAKAP...

dah uh... kalau camnie je berterusan, biar dier ngan dunie dier, aku ngan dunier aku... masih igt sak itu ari... suroh bawakkan untuk dier ingredient home economics dier... dat time dah malam, nak tdo... kakak dier kol, ckp yg dier mintak tolong bawak barang2 tu sumer... ok fine, aku bawak... bawang besar, bawang putih, ikan bilis, chilli padi tu sumer... skali pagi2 aru bace sms, suro kisarkan skalik... kiwak, tak de time... aku bawak je uh brg2 tu gik skola... tapi tak kisar... biler sampai, aku blang dier uh yang aku tak sempat nk kisar... teros tk nk amek siol... kiwak... bau bacen sak beg aku... dah baik2 aku bawak tapi tk nk amek... JUZ bcoz it wasn`t kisar... freak uh... better than nothing... bingit satu ari... aku dah susah2 tanyer mak aku bahan2 tu sumer... mak aku marah2 aku pasal dier ckp dah tentu bukan aku nye pasal nak sebok2 bawak barang tu sumer... bingit uh dat day... hannah even ckp mcm dier take me for granted... aku pikir due kali... betol ke hannah cakap tu?

Kalau betol... rase cam tertipu sak... sakit sak hati,,, pikir hati aku dah baek since he walk into my life... padehal padehal...

ape nak jadi, jadilah... juz waiting to see if anything worser came across me... geram sak... pasal ex dier laen, pasal tak berterime kaseh laem... mcm2 uh... aku sabar je... sampai aku dah sampai tahap kesabaran aku, aru meletop... jgn sampai dier pijak kepale aku sua..........

TADAA

2006-08-17T12:14:00.000+08:00

17 • 08 • 2006

yeahh... new skin has just born... haha... tomorrow literature common test... and i dun feel like studying... hehhs... never mind..

yah... damn im bored... he just called me just now... as usual... kinda sad though coz sometimes there`s no topic to talk about... yeah... pity...

haishh... bored... no one to talk to... on msn oso no use.. lazy to update blog... and this blog is under construction for so long... coz im busy these days...

kinda happy juz now coz in my whole secondary life i`ve never scored that *WELL for karangan... haha =p

sigh#

2006-07-27T20:34:00.000+08:00

27 • 07 • 2oo6

sigh, kinda bored rite now... reached home @ abt 6++ ... haha~ yeah! my first blogskin i made =)) ... cheybah...

haishh... ntahlah... naseb bsok friday... ade free period... but, ade np uh... nie yang leceh... haishh... memenatkan...

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HONESTY!

yeahh rite... honesty... is everything... whether about firendship, love... everything...

to friends, honesly, did u treat me as a friend with no hard feelings?

to my boi, honestly, did u treat me as your only one?

to sis, honestly, did u like my attitude?

i dun care if it hurts my feelings or no... i just want people to be honest with me...coz i be honest with people...

sigh. sigh. sigh.

i dun want lies. i dun want fakes. i dun want to be deceived. all i want is nothing - but honestly in everything.

2006-07-25T18:48:00.000+08:00

blah . testing!